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Created on Sunday, 01 August 2010 16:00

This is probably the most connected generation ever. We are connected with cell phones, smart phones, and with the Internet via e-mail, blogs and Facebook. You name it, we are connected! In fact, there is almost no place in the world that you can go and not be connected. But the question is, have we really connected with someone or is it just a facade of being connected?

Have you noticed that even with this "connectivity", people are feeling disconnected and discontented? Why would that be? Could it be because all of this connectivity is very impersonal? Think about it. A vast majority of this connectivity is hidden behind a computer keyboard.

Do you remember the old slogan from AT&T long distance? The slogan was "reach out and touch someone". This referred to picking up the telephone and calling someone and talking to them one on one. How often in today's world do we do just that, talk with someone one on one, really talk with someone, heart to heart?

Today, we are so busy that we don't seem to have time to sit down and spend quality time with anyone face to face. We have to complete this task so that we can move on to the next task, and on, and on, and on. This busyness can be understood in the business world because all businesses are being asked to do more with less. The problem is, this impersonality, this lack of spending time with someone, carries over into our personal lives and even into our marriages. We are so busy providing and taking care of our families that we forget that we need to spend time talking and just being with our families. We are so busy at work that when we get home all we want to do is relax and unwind. We forget that we have a spouse who needs us to talk to them, to be with them. If we don't spend meaningful time with our spouse, then we end up in distress, in strife, and in feeling disconnected, even though we are living in the same house with them.

So what are we to do? How do we connect meaningfully with our spouse? Well, we know that there are any innumerable Internet help sites, marriage help books, time management books that provide "helpful" hints on how to manage our time more effectively. Once we learn how to manage our time more effectively, we should find that we have time for meaningful interaction with our wife, or our husband. But do we? Do these "helpful hints" provide lasting relief, or are they just band-aids or something that just makes us think we are solving the issue?

Whenever we consider this type of help, we should remember what David wrote in Psalm 60:11: “Give us help from trouble, For the help of man is useless.” So if the help of man isn't always profitable, then where should we turn? The place to turn is to the Lord and His Word! Have you ever wondered what the Bible has to say about how we are to connect with our spouse? Well, the Bible tells us!

God's Word says that we are a three part being, made up of the spirit, the soul, and the body. We read this in Genesis 1:26: “Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image,     according to Our likeness", and in 1 Thessalonians 5:23: “Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” So in order to be truly connected with our wife or our husband, we need to be connected to each part of that person!

In Genesis 2:24 we read, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Once we get married, the husband and the wife are one flesh. And our bodies are not are own, as Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:4: “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” Do we act like our body belongs to our spouse? Do you husbands only have eyes for your own wife? Do you wives only have eyes for your own husband? Do you consider your body your own to do as you like?

When was the last time you, just out of nowhere, for no    particular reason, hugged your wife or your husband? When was the last time you just, out of nowhere, for no particular reason, kissed your wife or your husband? When was the last time, for no particular reason, you looked deeply into your spouse's eyes and said, "I love you"? When was the last time you told your wife or your husband that they are your best friend? If we do these things, then we will be connected bodily to our spouse.

The soul speaks of the mind, the seat of the emotions, of thought, will, feelings; that part of us that makes us a rational being. When was the last time you really sat down and talked with your wife, with your husband? We don't mean about how to organize the day so that everybody would be at the right place at the right time. No, we mean just sat down and shared your heart with your marriage partner and talked about your dreams. If we do these things then our souls will be connected to our spouse.

The final connection is with the spirit. Husbands, when was the last time that you read Scripture to your wife? When did you, as the spiritual leader of the home, spend time praying with your wife? When did the two of you speak to each other as Paul exhorts us to in Ephesians 5:19: “speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.” When was the last time you as a married couple worshipped the Lord together, just the two of you? If we do these things, then we will be spiritually connected to each other as husband and wife.

So if we want to be truly connected to our wife/our husband, let's purpose in our hearts to honor each other and each to only have eyes for the other. Let’s treat our bodies as if they are owned by our wife/our husband and not just by ourselves.  Let's share our hearts with each other. Let's share our thoughts, our dreams, our aspirations, and let's tell our wife, our husband how they are part of all of these.

But most importantly, if we want to be connected to our wife, to our husband, then together as a couple we need to be   connected to the Lord! Let's pray with each other, let's read God's word to each other, and let's worship together! And let our actions, our thoughts, our motives, reflect to our spouse what the Shulamite woman said of her lover: “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.” (Song of Solomon 6:3)

May God richly bless you and your marriage! And may we as married couples exalt the Lord following David’s example in Psalm 34:3: “Oh, magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together.” Amen.