Turn Up the HEAT!

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Published on Wednesday, 01 June 2011 00:00

Turning Up the HEAT!

We are believing that most of you are excited about the warmer weather ahead (Lord willing). We are just trying to cope with the fact that this year is already half over. Time seems to be spinning out of control, and more and more the heat is being turned up when it comes to our marriages. The attacks appear to be coming faster and stronger, and many marriages are not holding up in the battle. This article is certainly not going to solve all the issues at hand, but we pray it is an encouragement as we look at HEAT from a different perspective. Keep these two examples in mind as we look to crank up the heat. First, one of the benefits of cooking is that many harmful bacteria are killed during the process. The heat removes the impurities so the food is safe for consumption. Second, in the Bible we have the example of the silversmith as in Proverbs 25:4: “Take away the dross from silver, and it will go to the silversmith for jewelry.” Again it is the heat that brings the impurities to the surface so the silver can be used to make something beautiful. What does this have to do with our marriages? If the heat does not consume us but is used properly, the results will be beyond anything we could imagine. Our relationship with our spouse and, most importantly, with the Lord will be more joyful and more useful for the Kingdom.

Holy- The Bible says, “but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy.’ ” 1 Peter 1:15-16 The simplest definition for being holy is to be set apart for the Master’s use. In order for us to become the husband or wife our spouse needs, we must deal with first things first. We each need to continually ask ourselves, how is my walk with Jesus? We cannot be right in any other relationship unless we are first right with God. This is really the heart of the matter. If we are struggling in our marriages, it is always because one or the other or both are not willing to do what Jesus tells us to. We know that we cannot wake up and say today, I am going to be holy! The key here is to know that because of Jesus, we are already holy. We need to draw closer to the Lord and, through building our relationship with Him, we will automatically take on His qualities. Often we are spinning our wheels trying to take care of everything and everyone else rather than including Christ and allowing Him to direct us. The strength of our marriages is directly related to how great each of us sees our immense need for Jesus.

Eternal- It can be difficult at times to try and be pleasing to our spouse without having some thought of what we can or should get in return. We would all be better served if we reminded ourselves that everything we do here on earth, good or bad, affects eternity. Philippians 4:8 tells us, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” We must view our marriages as something greater than just trying to survive day by day. We have a desire to want to invest more quality time as a couple, but have not taken all the steps necessary to make it happen. We are trying to be more conscious of putting time aside and marking it on the calendar, but it is a challenge. The Lord is the Creator of marriage so if it is important to Him, then we should treat it with much more value than we do now.

Adventure- Along with the thoughts of just getting by comes the idea that there is nothing new and exciting happening in our relationship. We tend to settle in and just accept the way things are. We should be continually striving to a greater walk with God, but with that should also come some very practical applications. We encourage you to stir things up this summer. Is there a trip or anything that you have been talking about? Is there something that you used to do that you haven’t done in years? When was the last time you or your spouse gave each other some surprise date or gift? If finances are tight, take advantage of the canal or the countless trails in our area. There are plenty of opportunities to do outreach with the church. Whatever it is, just get out and do it! 2 Corinthians 5:7 says, “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” Give God a chance to show you what a marriage looks like to Him.

Thankful- Taking one another for granted is probably one of the most dangerous acts in a marriage. The more we buy into the fact that our spouse will understand us, the less we will communicate with one another about the issues we may be dealing with. The Bible says, “in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 We all need to learn how to be totally transparent with one another, and also how to have constructive conversations without putting one another down. This can be done with more effort in letting each other know things you are thankful for. God is the one who put us together, and if we are not thankful towards one another, we are telling the Lord we do not appreciate His blessing upon us. We need to understand that God has provided us with one of His greatest gifts this side of heaven and that he or she is right in front of you every day. Try something different for a week and see what happens. Take a moment each day to tell your spouse something about him or her you are thankful for. God may just do something amazing.

Always remember that when the HEAT is on and you feel like you are going to burn up, Jesus is in the midst, just like He was with the Hebrew children in the fiery furnace. There are some serious battles going on when it comes to our marriages, but if we allow our God, who is the ultimate consuming fire, to burn away our impurities, our relationships will become the sweet-tasting fruit or the magnificent piece of silver that He alone has designed.

Be Holy

Think Eternal

Try an Adventure

And be Thankful … that is how you turn up the HEAT!